Blogging is a relatively new thing for me. I never realised the huge blogging community in Ireland and the different levels of blogging, from novice to full time career blogging. I’ve written for several websites over the past 5 years but only in the last year and a half have I used a personal blog for my content. I had been so focused on getting my foot in the door as a journalist on various websites that I’d never considered keeping some of the work I’d put so much energy into for myself and I regret that as some of the websites I worked on have since shut down and my work is gone, in some cases forever, but hindsight is 20/20.
Blogging is something that pulls me in different directions because on one hand I want to write more meaningful content and on the other I don’t want to divulge too much about my private life but I generally find myself more drawn to bloggers who talk honestly and openly about their real lives because the long and short of it is a lot of what we see online is smoke and mirrors.
Blogging has led me into some great opportunities and even though I’m still the small fish I’ve gotten to attend some fantastic PR events and been nominated for awards. Saying that my life is not fabulous 24/7. I have bills to pay and struggles like everyone else. Stuff like this is not glamorous or super positive so it tends not to get too much bandwidth when it comes to what we post online. We like to put up filtered pictures of lovely lunches and drinks with friends. Nobody wants to talk about student loans and taxes.
Behind the prosecco and snapchats with celebs is a 26 year old Mum who spent the next day watching Paw Patrol for 5 hours straight.
Behind the instagrams of blogger events is a bride to be wondering how to make ends meet.
Behind the Facebook quotes about positive thinking is someone who struggles with their mental health.
Nobody has it perfect 100% of the time no matter how their social media accounts might try to fool you.
I have honestly had people say to me “It must be great to not have any problems“.
It may not appear it to people that don’t know me very well but I’m a very private person. Just because I blog does not mean I like to tell everyone everything about me. What can you really even tell about a person from a beauty review or a piece on the latest trends. This says nothing about who they are or where they’ve come from.
It’s light and fluffy. Nothing heavy, no honesty, no calories.
I find it hard to express myself when it comes to the big things.
People who meet me don’t know I’ve had to deal with 2 bereavements lately, I keep it well hidden. Not because I don’t want to talk about it but because I don’t know where to find the words. A lot of the time even my close friends don’t know what I’m carrying around. So when someone says it must be great to not have problems I think “Yeah it must be great“
My heart sinks but I keep smiling.
It’s times like those when blogging events can be the loneliest of places.
You’re surrounded by people but in reality you’re all alone. These people don’t know you. You’re a walking business card.
Not all of the time, 99% of the time I really enjoy blogging events but I’m a shy person and sometimes it’s hard to work up the courage to approach new people.
I don’t always feel confident. I don’t always feel attractive. I don’t always feel clever.
These things are important to know when you follow people on social media. No matter the person we all feel flawed sometimes and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
We all have the good times,
the holidays, the music festivals , the new car
But we also have the more mundane stuff,
paying the bills, washing the clothes, doing the weekly shop
And the hard times,
depression, losing a job, losing a loved one.
Not one of us has it good 100% of the time.
We all need to learn how to embrace the little stuff a bit more.
That really well made cup of tea.
Taking your shoes off after a long day.
Someone handing your dinner to you.
I envy what other people get to do sometimes and in turn other people envy what I get to do and it all turns into this horrible circle of bitterness.
We would all be better off if instead we took a step back and took in what we have got and thought “Wow I’m really lucky to have all this“
Enjoy social media and read blogs but take it all with a pinch of salt.
We’re all hot messes under it all 😛